I'm Christian. I have no problems admitting that. In fact, it is probably my only source of pride. If I can brag about anything, let it be that.

Lately, though, there's been a bit of controversy over religion and faith. Questions like "how can Jesus be the only way?" and "aren't we all praying to the same God, anyway?" are everywhere in the forums.

Who am I kidding? There's always been controversy. There always will be controversy. In any case, I'm going to put in my own two cents to this conversation.

Imagine, if you will, a large group of people.

These people have been exiled from the City of the King for many generations, and wander aimlessly around in the wilderness year after year. The King has hidden the City from them, but promised that when the time comes and their sentence is up he will send His Son to guide them back to the City.

Over time, all of these people want to go home. They remember the King. He was a Good King, but also a Just King. But memories change. Some choose to remember him as a warped ruler, others as a merciful saint, still others as a destroyer of worlds. Some even choose to believe that the King was an analogy for the people themselves!

They begin to wander apart into different groups. One group stays strong, and continues to wait for the Guide to appear. Other groups raise up 'prophets' among themselves who claim to know the way to the city, still others decide that the only way they'll ever find the City is if they build it themselves.

One day, a strange man walks among the people, calling to all that he is the Guide. He gathers a following and leads them away to the city. When they reach the gates of the City, it is his life that opens the gate for them, and his body which serves as the bridge.

Meanwhile, all those who did not follow the guide continue to wander aimlessly in the wilderness.

Writing a novel is a whole lot like carving a statue. You can't do it haphazardly, but you have to start somewhere.

As some of you know, I participated in my first NaNoWriMo this last year. I can honestly say that it's been one of the best experiences of my life. The result of that massive writing binge was a half-baked fragment of a story full of grammatical errors, plot holes, and contradictions of character. Half the time I wasn't sure what I was doing, the the times that I did know what I was doing were the times when the words had to be dragged out of me by sheer willpower.

In the end, though, I did it. I wrote over 50,000 words in thirty days. I tell you, it was a rush. I thought that it was the coolest thing ever.

Then I read what I'd written.

There was a short period of embarrassment that followed, but I got over it. As I said at the beginning of this post, writing a novel is like carving a statue. After a couple weeks, I came to the realization that I hadn't really carved a statue during the month of November. Rather, I'd carved out a chunk of marble from the quarry to work from. Sure, it wasn't all that pretty, and there were entire chunks of other kinds of rock that just weren't going to fit into the final product, but it was a starting point.

So now I'm taking that piece of marble, and chipping away the parts that don't fit. In time, perhaps I'll have my Venus de Milo, or my Thinker, but for the moment I still have work to do.

The statue exists in the mind of the maker, but what good does it do if it's never begun? NaNoWriMo gave me the block of stone. Now all I have to do is shape it.

So I'm 22 days in and I'm behind at a little over 34,000 words. Thankfully, there's a write-in this evening, so I'll be able to catch up there.

My plot is set, my characters are being cooperative, and my muse has been hauling her but dutifully out of bed, so I really shouldn't complain, but the deadline is looming ever closer, and I'm getting nervous.

I'm not worried about reaching 50,000 words. That's the easy part. The hard part will be wrapping up my storyline before then. There's so much that I want to write about before the story's over, but I'm running out of time to finish. I need to keep going, to wrap it up, but it's hard. Scenes that I thought would last 500 words have been stretching into 2000, and the characters keep getting themselves into twists. It's not reading like a soap opera yet, though, so I guess I'm still safe.

And would you look at this? I'm losing words here, but that's alright. Sometimes it helps to get my thoughts out on paper, or a keyboard in any case.

It's the weekend. Wish me luck, everyone!

I have ideas; nebulous, half-formed ideas, but ideas all the same.

I have characters, but only a few positions for them as of yet.

I have a laptop and 48 hours of weekend to waste.

Most importantly, I have coffee.

With a little over 7 hours to go 'till NaNoWriMo '08 starts, I find myself sitting back and reading through humor. 12:00 midnight, people. That's when we can start writing. People on the other side of the globe are ahead of us, but not by too much.

I raise my mug in toast to fellow NaNo's. Let the madness begin.

Eriva of www.zantarni.com has been kind enough to draw a rather nice picture of my RP character Damia Isardin!

(see To Walk a Broken Path for details on time period and setting.)

Character name: Damia Ghest (day-me-ahn'-ah guest)

Age: 32

Appearance: Like her ancestor, Damia Ghest stands at an unimpressive 5'4” in height, is slender, and is fairly flat. Her eyes are slate-grey, set slanted in a sharp, angular face. Her ears are slightly pointed, and her skin is a creamy pale color. Her dark brown hair is pulled back into a severe braid. No hair is allowed to fall into her face. At her temples can be seen hints of silvery-gray beginning to show through. She is physically fit, and was trained in some close combat, though not nearly enough to hold off a professional by physical skill alone.

Personality: Damia Ghest is a rather silent individual, preferring not to speak unless it is necessary. She likes to have as much information as possible before taking action, but can react on the spur of the moment if it becomes necessary. She holds a strong loyalty to the Federation, and her loyalty to her fellow mages nears fanaticism, which may lead her to do things that she might not otherwise do. The strong bonds among the society of mages have prevented her from developing insecurities about her powers, as she is not the only one with 'fixed' talents. She is skilled at hiding her emotions due to several years as part of the Senatorial Guard. She tends toward practicality, but can't fully escape her emotions. She has a strong dependency on her fellow mages, much like most of her kind, though hers can occasionally interfere with her day-to-day existence. She has some trouble seeing herself as an individual.

History: Damia Ghest is a direct descendent of Damia Isardin, and inherited her abilities after magic entered the human world once more. Born into a middle-class family in a time when the mages had become the Federation's greatist prize, she was taken from her biological family when she was five to be trained in the use of her powers. Scoring low on everything but illusion, she was placed in an intensive program to develop that talent, and soon lost the ability to do anything else, though she retained a sensitivity to magic and the mental arts, which increased her dependency on the Current, the flow of souls and magic that all mages share. The result of this is an increased difficulty to see herself as a person, rather than just an extension of the whole. When she was twenty-four, she was recruited into the division of mages known as the Senatorial Guard for her abilites to remain unseen, nonviolently defuse a situation, and hide others, among other things.

Family: Damia's sense of 'family' is a bit warped. Any mage is seen as family, and they are referred to as her brothers and sisters. Her birth family, being nonmagical, is not included in this description.

Occupation: Human Mage, Senatorial Guard

Weapon: Her magic (illusion) and various toxins

Magic: Like her ancestor, Damia's magic is illusion based, sometimes focused through sound or movement. She also has a sensitivity to magic and the mental arts.

Location: [To Walk a Broken Path]

Character Name: Senka Jhalmir (sen'-kah zhal-meer')

Age: 238 (appears 30)

Gender: Female

Race: Elf

Appearance: Senka stands at roughly 5 feet 10 inches in height. She is much wider at the shoulder than at the hip, and her waist is slightly indented, giving the impression of extremely broad shoulders relative to her waist and narrow hips. Her eyes are a pale grey color, set beneath smoothly arched eyebrows in a square face. Her skin is slightly tanned, and her ears taper to a fine point. She wears her auburn hair mostly down with the exception of the front layers, which are tied back to keep them out of her face. The remainder trails down her back to just below her shoulders.

Personality: Senka lives in the here and now. She is rather adaptable and spontaneous, thriving on action. Mechanically oriented, she is possessed of a need to know how things work, and enjoys taking things apart, but is also fiercely independent, preferring to work on her own rather than in a group. She needs space to make her own decisions, and feels smothered when surrounded by other minds. However, she would never seek a leadership position. Despite her predilection toward spontaneous action, she does not give off the impression of constant nervous energy, but remains mostly unemotional. Still, she is nearly fearless, showing little sign of self preservation, and can be a bit belligerant at times. She loves to fight. When it comes to odds, she is very much the realist, neither brimming with hope nor dogged by depression. She tends to be a bit insane at times, making leaps between helpfulness and outright sadism, depending on the situation.

History: Senka grew up in the hidden forests of Caldemar with her mother and father, Lastadeth and Isandel. They were rather average citizens of the domain, and so Senka was given a good education. As a child, her wild escapades worried her parents to no end, but her spontaneity was tempered as she grew older by a growing love of working things. She spent her adolesent years tinkering and experimenting with ways of making her chores easier, gradually withdrawing from the people around her in favor of working on her own ideas. What started as a way to pass the time became a way to give back to her community as she designed traps and signal mechanisms for use on the border. Upon adulthood, she took a job as a scout and occassional border guard, fueling her love for adventure as well as her desire to test her projects in the field.

Family: Her parents Isandel and Lastadeth, and her sister Callista.

Occupation: Border Guard/Scout

Weapon: Senka can use a bow, but she only carries it when on border duty, generally preferring close combat with a dagger or her fists.

Magic: Senka can preform some minor spells and enchantments, but her skills lie elsewhere.

Location: [Into Oblivion]

Name: Damia Isardin (day-me-ahn'-ah ih-saar'-den)

Aliases: Alexis [Return]

Age: Depends on the RP; usually between 17 and 40

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Appearance: Damia stands at about 5'4" in height. She is slender and fairly flat. Her eyes are slate-grey, set slanted in a sharp, angular face. Her ears are slightly pointed, and her skin is a creamy pale color. She keeps her dark brown hair pulled back in a braid, with the bangs hanging loose about her face. As she ages, she gains silvery streaks through her hair. There is usually a pair of beaded chopsticks stuck in the braid where it meets her skull. Damia is not a very intimidating person. While she appears stern in her older years, she does not have the muscle to back up a threat.

Personality: No matter what her age is, Damia's most sensitive point is her stunted abilities. As a younger character, this is her weakest point, and she is prone to an emotional response to taunts aimed at her weakness. As she ages, maturity steps in, allowing her to let the comments bounce off, although they still hurt, she is better able to control her response. Other traits remain the same despite changes in her age. She is inherently a kind soul, willing to help out in whatever way that she can, but is generally reserved, with a strong deference to authority. Still, she does not hesitate to state her opinion if she finds that a close ally's actions are morally wrong, though she may try to do it in a roundabout way. Among strangers she is more careful, and hesitates to say something that will spark conflict. She is often plagued by horrible insecurities.

History: As a child, Damia showed slight signs of magic, enough to gain her entry into a Wizards School, but as the years passed on, she found it more and more difficult to cast spells. By the time she was 14, it was nearly impossible for her to cause a physical or spiritual effect on any object or creature with her magic. Frustrated, Damia continued to try to work natural spells without success. She was teased for her inability to cast the simplest of spells, and soon broke down under the pressure. Eventually, however, she realized that her magic was not weak, but had taken a different path. Instead of causing actual effects, her magic manifested as illusions. At around the age of 16, she began study of these talents, and quickly learned that illusion was not a rare talent, but was generally only considered a minor addition to a wizard's power. However, Damia's entire magical reserve fell along this path, which, while preventing her from casting standard spells, allowed her to convince those around her that the event had taken place. Over time, she developed these talents, but it took some time for her to accept her own strength.

Family: Damia is usually not in contact with them, but her parents are still living, and she has a brother named Titus who is five years older than her. He also has magical ability, though his is unstunted. He may occasionally pop up in an RP, but never as a major character.

Occupation: Human Mage, "Illusionist"

Weapon: n/a

Magic: Illusion (Will-driven. Usually focused through movement or sound.)

Location: [Zantarni School of Wizards] (age 18)
[Return] (age 26)

So, I was bored yesterday and decided to look around for games. Eventually I stumbled across this neat little simulation called "Human Age". It's not particularly fast-paced, and I'm not sure if I'll continue it or not, but it has it's good points.

Virtual human development game



www.human-age.com

You can click the link above for more info.
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EDIT 9-29-08

I've found Human Age to be rather boring, in the end.

No sense is truly expendable, but if I had to give up one, I would give up the sense of smell first.

If success were absolutely guaranteed, I'd probably write that novel that's been eluding me.

You've all seen them. Little clickable dragons and eggs that must mature within a certain period of time.

I think I'm addicted. XD Unfortuanately, getting them to grow up can be difficult. Here's a link to my scroll.

http://dragcave.net/user/CrystalMind

Please save my eggs.
---

On a more serious not, the first couple weeks of school have gone by without a hitch. I'm enjoying all my classes. I'm going back to Taekwondo tonight, too. More than a little nervous about that.

School looms on the horizon, a dark shadow against the brightness of summer's setting sun. Is it so wrong to enjoy the night that follows? The relish the creeping chill of the shadow as it deepens? To welcome the darkness of winter?

How can one enjoy light if one has never known darkness? Shouldn't we welcome the so-called "bleakness" of school days so that we can better enjoy summer when it comes? Light always seems brighter to us after we've been lost in darkness.

Still, the reverse is also true. Shadows seem the darker for even the briefest stint in daylight...

Thoughts, anyone?